The Trouble With Pretending

Album: The Trouble With Pretending
Released: June, 2009. Two versions of artwork exist.
Purchase: Bandcamp, iTunes, Amazon

 
1. The Shortest Romance
2. Chasing
3. And If…
4. Birds Of A Feather
5. Antiques
6. Mistakes
7. No Matter How Much
8. You’ll Never Forgive Me
9. Hard To See
10. A Resignation

 
The Shortest Romance

we stood, frozen in the middle of the street, like icicles from rooftops
and we sang softly into one another’s ear
singing all the words we wanted to hear

and we were being born

you whisper to me that things don’t always go bad
i try to tell you that i know all of that
it just comes out sounding like i’m bracing for the end
i don’t know how else to say i love you, i guess

out here in the cold
i’ve never known how to face the storm alone

put your hand back there upon my cheek
i know you love to feel it when i breathe
i miss the nights where it didn’t feel empty
i’m starting to forget what any of this means

and we were dying slow

look into my eyes right before you leave
give me that line about how i’ll never believe
that you’re doing all of it for me
i’ll try to pretend that i know everything

 
Chasing

out here in the dark
being chased by dogs
we can’t run fast enough
they’re catching up

so run over the hill
the one where all the trees are still
we’ll hide in the leaves
just trust me

let’s climb down
let me know when your feet hit the ground
just don’t make a sound
we don’t want to wake them up

cover your eyes
while i pretend to look at the sky
i can’t take my eyes off of you tonight

 
And If…

if i held your hand do you think that you would follow me down anywhere i go?
and would you smile, with every step we took into the wild?

and if we found a bridge would you jump off it with me?
if we drowned, and lease we’d drown in company,
and if we swam away, we’d have stories we could tell for years to come

and when we talk it’s like the brightness shining from the sun
warming all the plants and warming everyone
leaving not a single spot of earth untouched

and the grass is green, the greenest grass that i have ever seen
or so it is when you lie on it with me
just stay here with me inside this dream

and i see all the things coming back
all the things i never thought i’d have
come to life with you around

let’s fly away, maybe we can get ourselves and airplane,
or hot balloon, or just climb on an eagle’s wings
i don’t care as long as we’re alone

in that dress you like like an angel and i must confess
the rest of the world becomes easy to forget
when you look at me like that

and i swear to God your smile could cure diseases
and i’m thankful that i’m immune to everything that’s out there now
you’re keeping me safe from harm

and the world outside has gone from black to white
now that we’re safe inside each other’s arms for the rest of time
and i know we’re fine. i know it when i turn out the light.

 
Birds of a Feather

if i close my eyes for an hour
i can see you walking back through the door
i don’t know what i said to make you angry like that
but i know it wasn’t worth leaving for

and i miss the way this house feels when we’re both breathing the same air
you’ve run off and left me chasing shadows
to only God knows where

you stare right through me like a vulture
circling waiting for my final breath
landing down just at my last moments
leaving only scraps for all the rest

sometimes when we talk you’re like an owl
swooping in from right over my head
pick me up and take me away to nowhere
your talons digging deep into my flesh

once upon a time you were a sparrow
singing songs more hopeful than the wind
calling to me high up from the branches
i don’t know why all that had to end

 
Antiques

you call me late just to tell me everything
the things i never wanted to believe
i understand if i walk away again
everything will crumble at my feet

if i say that i’ll go through this your way
is there a light at the end of this road
or is this all just me grasping after straws
if you could, please let me know

the sky is gray, you always loved it that way
but now it seems to mean different things
like all the pain has been bottled up and drained
and kept there way up high until it rains

the drops are cold, feel them tugging at my soul
trying to strip layers off of me
but i don’t fight, hope by morning i’ll be right
but the layers never fade and you can see

and every time you ask me why,
i say i don’t know the answers, i don’t know a thing.
and every time i tell you we’ll be okay
i know you don’t believe me

 
Mistakes

i don’t know where you’ve been all these years
hiding out under your hopes, under your fears
remembering when we used to be happy like children
running around with only the sun shining above them

and we never said a word about how we wanted to be
i knew what you felt, the moment you looked at me
i was wrong, but what was i hoping for?
i was hoping for you

here we are, back again, at the start
just us lying on our backs, alone in the dark
every time the road is uneven we fake a spark
it seems i mistook yours for a fire

 
No Matter How Much

you can tell me your sign
and i’ll tell you mine
and you can say we’re gonna be together forever if the stars align
but i don’t buy that the moons in the sky
have anything at all to do with you and i

this might be our last chance to get up dance
so don’t sit there in the corner, come on baby give me your hand
’cause when this song ends and other begins
i can’t promise some other guy won’t be cutting in

and you don’t think this is half as special as i know it is
you’re just holding on to the moment like it’s never gonna give
but all things go my dear
no matter how much you want them near you

you really did your part
you should’ve known from the start
that it only ends up in tragedy, it’s like trying to part a sea that won’t part
but you can take heart, i’m no work of art
you’ll be better off as soon as you realize we’re ending apart

 
You’ll Never Forgive Me

well i can meet you at the corner if it’s what you really need
and i can tell you all the things you’re never gonna see
but all the times you wanted to come over and i stood in the door
leaving you in a pool of your tears on the floor

it never changed a goddamn thing

sometimes i get to thinking when does any of it end?
never if we’re lucky. never if we win.
but the weight is almost crushing, i’m lying under it
it’s suffocating everyone who’s chomping at the bit

i walk around toronto thinking of last year
everything was different, everything seemed clear
in a few months it all changed around and took me out of here
and though seasons went and came again, i’m no stronger for wear

 
Hard To See

i’m tired of jumping from stone to stone
never quite sure of which one to call home
i’m tired of crawling from your floor to mine
it doesn’t seem worth it, i’m just wasting my time

i don’t have the people i need to have around
someone to protect me, pick me up off the ground
i know you look pretty harmless, but i think that it’s a ruse
a clever way to fool me, to keep me confused…

but maybe all i need, is someone who can see
and maybe all i want is for something to go right just once
and maybe all you are is everything i need to run away from
and maybe that’s hard to see ’cause i have trouble being real
and maybe it’s all in my head, maybe it was just something you said
maybe i can’t decide, so i’ll just say maybe and hide

 
A Resignation

the more i drink the better this sounds
i’m starting to think you don’t need me around
and no one really does. i’m barely holding on.

it’s dark outside
i can’t see without lights
is there ground in front of me?
take a step, hold my breath

don’t tell me it’s okay, i see through that shit
just tell me i’m right, i’m okay with it

 

 
Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Jared Cohen in his kitchen.
All songs (c) + (p) Jared Cohen (BMI).
Cover Photo: Building cover (2nd version), Peter W Photo. Original cover, Amber Carson Miller.
Special thanks to Jeff Heppert, Kim Radich, Andrew Skewes-Cox